Dear Sarah,

I used to be really close with this girl until I noticed how much she talks bad about people and when she’s around them, she pretends nothing is wrong. It got me thinkingg of all things she could be saying about me. I don’t want to give her more things to talk about so I decided to stop talking to her even though we sit next to each other. Did I take the right approach or is there something better I can do?

-Playing it Safe

Dear Playing it Safe,

A big part of friendship is definitely trust, so if you feel like you can’t trust her, you might be making the right decision. Talking bad about others behind their back is a bad habit and I can see why you’re finding it hard to stay in the friendship. You’re defined by who you hang out with, so you need to make sure you hang out with positive people. Have you tried talking to her about it? Sometimes people don’t realize they’re talking bad about others, especially when it becomes a habit. You should approach her and let her know what you’re feeling and how its making you feel unsure about the friendship. Try and give her the opportunity to change her ways, and maybe she’ll realize that what she’s doing is wrong. If it seems like she doesn’t want to change, and you feel like you can’t trust her, then you took the right approach. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. You need to be confident in your friendships, so if you have any doubts, then I would move on and try to find someone you can put all of your trust in. You’re doing the right thing by acknowledging the problem and trying to move forward by making a good decision.

Best of luck,
Sarah