Compromises in Dating Challege Double Standard


Clarissa Sanchez, Advertising Manager

Korean pop music plays in the background of my favorite restaurant. I try to finish the last piece of sushi on my plate, but I accidently lose grip of my chopstick and it falls into my lap. My date and I briefly share a laugh as the waitress interrupts with the check. From that day on we agreed whoever planned the date shall be the one who pays, regardless of gender.

I am upset with women who constantly complain that they want to be treated equally, yet they want a man to take care of them.  Men have no obligation to pay for women, but some are programmed to always to pick up the tab. They claim a gentleman cannot let a woman pay. If my boyfriend pays for dinner, I offer to pay for ice cream later on. If he felt that it was an insult to his masculinity, trust me he would not be my boyfriend. A relationship should be a mutual effort, not a parasitic free for all.

I am not going to pretend finances do not matter because they do. I think understanding each other’s finances also play a crucial role. I am still dependent on my parents, however my boyfriend supports himself. A couple of months before we met, he tutored countless children in order to pay for college. I feel so thankful that he would want to spend his money trying to make me happy.  I am upset with  girls who see it as an obligation and not as a gesture of appreciation.

For years, women have fought to be treated equally. If we are allowed to wear pants and have careers like men, it does not make sense to me why women find it offensive when they are asked for their fair share.  I am my own person. If a man wants to take care of someone, feed and wait for him at the door when they come home, may I suggest a dog or plant.

I enjoy spending time with my boyfriend even though our definitions of fun can differ at times.  If he wants to spend his money taking me to the art museum to rave about Andy Warhol while I try to stay awake, I have no problem picking up the tab as long as we eat at the place I select. Yes, some men are taught that they should pay for everything, but I want someone who treats me as their equal.