I don’t know what to do. I have a lot going on right now, at school and at home. I haven’t really been getting along with everyone lately and it’s not that I’m being intentionally rude, it’s just that the mood I’m in seems to be more than temporary. I try to be myself, but then again people don’t really like my personality. Everyone around me, including my teachers and close friends, seem to be annoyed or aggrevated with me. I guess I’m just naturally annoying. I know that they’re kidding sometimes but it still hurts. I’m just lost. I don’t have any friends that I can talk to seriously. I’ve had friends like that but I always drive them away. There isn’t anyone I can talk to about my problems and it just keeps building up and I can’t take it anymore. There is so much pain from my past and I don’t want pity, but I just want some type of comfort. I guess what I’m asking is, how can I go through life being so lonely and how can I make people like me?

-Lost and Lonely

Dear Lost and Lonely,

I want to start off by telling you that you’re never alone. Ever. The people around you only want what’s best for you. Love comes in several different languages. Sometimes the people who joke around with you the most love you the most as well. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them, even if they are the friends you feel like you can’t have a serious conversation with. You’d be surprised at how many people truly care for you. Finding the perfect group of friends is hard, and sometimes the process can be extremely terrifying and lonely.

As for driving people away, you should be careful about that. A genuine friend can be hard to find, so you don’t want to let go of one once you have them in your life. Make sure you constantly communicate with your friends, letting them know how you’re feeling. A true friend will stick around if you keep them updated on how things are going.

There is no possible way to “make” a person like you. You are who you are, and you shouldn’t compromise that for anyone. The friends that truly matter will love you for who you are, I promise. Even if you haven’t found the right group of friends yet, you will. You won’t feel this alone forever, and it truly does get easier.

On that note, it is possible to power through the loneliness. Be kind to yourself, because in the lonely process of figuring things out and finding the right friends, you’re all you have. Be sure to give yourself credit for all that you do. Even getting through a day of school deserves recognition. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

At the end of the day, you’re not as alone as you feel. Life is difficult, yes, but it’s possible to make it through the tough times. I promise that at some point in their lives, everyone goes through what you’re going through. They may not have the exact same situation, but feeling lonely is more common than you’d think.

I know there’s nothing I can say that will make everything better at home, take away the loneliness or bring back your optimistic attitude toward life, but I do want to leave you with one thing: hold on. Don’t give up. Power through, because things will turn around. The days when the burden becomes too much to handle, reach out. Someone will listen to everything you have to say, whether it be a friend, a teacher or even a school counselor. People out there want to see you happy, and they will. I am confident that someday you’ll find the perfect group of friends and truly find that inner-peace you have been longing for.

In the meantime, smile. Reward yourself every now and then, and don’t give up. Talk to people when you feel like you need to, and remember to have hope, because it truly gets better.

With love,

Sarah